How Many of You Are Arm Chair Mechanics - Sometimes?
08-15-2003, 02:21 PM
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Racer
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How Many of You Are Arm Chair Mechanics - Sometimes?
well, as the summer winds down, I'll have to share some stories from the garage of Glutamine83 and Bloodvette
typically I'm the armchair athlete, but Bloodvette can be caught on the odd occasion increasing the width of his a.s.s.
how many of you are armchair mechanics at times? (ie. sitting around a table after 40 beers, talking about that supercharger you want to install)
Story 1:
Bloodvette mentioned this one already, but one night we were in his garage with a couple 12 packs and some whiskey, discussing my q-jet, and how we would tweak it.
Beer 1 - Glutamine83 discusses getting the q-jet professionally tweaked.
Beer 4 - Bloodvette is giving a demonstration on the proper arm technique when swinging a hammer, and in the process, knocks over his lawn chair.
Beer 6- The discussion on carbs switches dramatically to a less coherent one about random engine parts. (ie. everything starts digressing)
Beer 7 - Glutamine83 takes his first pee-pee.
Beer 8 - Glutamine83, while smoking a cig, takes a second pee-pee.
Beer 10 - Bloodvette is staggering around behind the garage looking for that steel 400 crank that he promises to make into a stroker. All you can hear is " %(#*@& that hurt so %((*# much!!!!!"
All the while, Glutamine83 is taking a 3rd pee-pee and smoking another cigarette.
Beer 12 - A magazine on Chevy small blocks lies on the floor. A crankshaft from a SBC 400 lies on the floor. Dyna (bloodvettes dog) is chewing on my shirt. Bloodvette is sleeping in the front seat of his corvette with the tops off in the middle of the yard (it later rained, but I'll leave that for him to tell you about). Glutamine83 is making the 2 mile trek home on foot with a flashlight and a full beer. He is also missing his shirt.
Headaches ensued......
Story 2 (setting: Bloodvettes Garage (of course))
Bloodvette phones me and tells me he has purchased a 40 oz of whiskey. Before the phone hangs up, I arrive in his yard, with a cup of ice in hand. :D
Bloodvette continues to describe how he wants to install a new cd player in his corvette, also mentioning that it is easy to do, and it would take us 10 mins, and would leave us plenty of time to drink. We decide to have a cocktail first.
Shot 1 - Bloodvette describes the fabulous options on his new deck, and how the old deck "sucked"
Shot 3 - A light buzz sets in, which is a perfect time to get the new deck out of Bloodvette's old Trans Am, but we decide to have another shot.
Shot 5 - Glutamine83 takes a pee, then decides that the installation should start soon, or else it would never get done. Bloodvette mumbles something as he is playing tug-o-war with the dog.
Shot 7 - Bloodvette grabs some wire clippers, and we stagger to the other shed that has the Trans Am Bandit. We whip open the door, finish our drinks, throw our cups in the back seat, then proceed to pull the deck out. We cut the wires (a little short for my liking), and ran back to the garage in excitement.
Shot 9 - Bloodvette, in his hastness, decides that the most appropriate method for removing the old deck is to put his foot on the gauge panel and pull on the deck. Glutamine, after taking his 9th pee, comes back and laughs as a melody of "SNAPS" "CRACKLES" and "POPS" eminate from the interior of the corvette. Despite some cracks, and some random pieces of broke plastic, the deck comes out with ease.
Shot 11 - Bloodvette and Glutamine each have a foot on the new deck (faceplate off, of course :nono: ) and decide that force-full "persuasion" is the only method. The deck is in and wired.
Shot 13 - Glutamine loses feeling in his feet, and bloodvette continues to mumble something about his mom. The magic moment comes, but the deck won't turn on. Bloodvette prematurely proposes a toast, and we hammer the shot down.
Shot 15 - Glutamine is trying to theorize on the problem, but bloodvette is one step ahead. Bloodvette is under the dash pulling out the fuses one by one (but not replacing them :nono: ) and trying to find the bad fuse. Somehow, under the holy grace of god, bloodvette replaces the fuses.
Shot ?? - Well, the deck somehow turned on, and glutamine passed out in the garage. Bloodvette slept in his bed in the house.
Headaches ensued.
:party:
typically I'm the armchair athlete, but Bloodvette can be caught on the odd occasion increasing the width of his a.s.s.
how many of you are armchair mechanics at times? (ie. sitting around a table after 40 beers, talking about that supercharger you want to install)
Story 1:
Bloodvette mentioned this one already, but one night we were in his garage with a couple 12 packs and some whiskey, discussing my q-jet, and how we would tweak it.
Beer 1 - Glutamine83 discusses getting the q-jet professionally tweaked.
Beer 4 - Bloodvette is giving a demonstration on the proper arm technique when swinging a hammer, and in the process, knocks over his lawn chair.
Beer 6- The discussion on carbs switches dramatically to a less coherent one about random engine parts. (ie. everything starts digressing)
Beer 7 - Glutamine83 takes his first pee-pee.
Beer 8 - Glutamine83, while smoking a cig, takes a second pee-pee.
Beer 10 - Bloodvette is staggering around behind the garage looking for that steel 400 crank that he promises to make into a stroker. All you can hear is " %(#*@& that hurt so %((*# much!!!!!"
All the while, Glutamine83 is taking a 3rd pee-pee and smoking another cigarette.
Beer 12 - A magazine on Chevy small blocks lies on the floor. A crankshaft from a SBC 400 lies on the floor. Dyna (bloodvettes dog) is chewing on my shirt. Bloodvette is sleeping in the front seat of his corvette with the tops off in the middle of the yard (it later rained, but I'll leave that for him to tell you about). Glutamine83 is making the 2 mile trek home on foot with a flashlight and a full beer. He is also missing his shirt.
Headaches ensued......
Story 2 (setting: Bloodvettes Garage (of course))
Bloodvette phones me and tells me he has purchased a 40 oz of whiskey. Before the phone hangs up, I arrive in his yard, with a cup of ice in hand. :D
Bloodvette continues to describe how he wants to install a new cd player in his corvette, also mentioning that it is easy to do, and it would take us 10 mins, and would leave us plenty of time to drink. We decide to have a cocktail first.
Shot 1 - Bloodvette describes the fabulous options on his new deck, and how the old deck "sucked"
Shot 3 - A light buzz sets in, which is a perfect time to get the new deck out of Bloodvette's old Trans Am, but we decide to have another shot.
Shot 5 - Glutamine83 takes a pee, then decides that the installation should start soon, or else it would never get done. Bloodvette mumbles something as he is playing tug-o-war with the dog.
Shot 7 - Bloodvette grabs some wire clippers, and we stagger to the other shed that has the Trans Am Bandit. We whip open the door, finish our drinks, throw our cups in the back seat, then proceed to pull the deck out. We cut the wires (a little short for my liking), and ran back to the garage in excitement.
Shot 9 - Bloodvette, in his hastness, decides that the most appropriate method for removing the old deck is to put his foot on the gauge panel and pull on the deck. Glutamine, after taking his 9th pee, comes back and laughs as a melody of "SNAPS" "CRACKLES" and "POPS" eminate from the interior of the corvette. Despite some cracks, and some random pieces of broke plastic, the deck comes out with ease.
Shot 11 - Bloodvette and Glutamine each have a foot on the new deck (faceplate off, of course :nono: ) and decide that force-full "persuasion" is the only method. The deck is in and wired.
Shot 13 - Glutamine loses feeling in his feet, and bloodvette continues to mumble something about his mom. The magic moment comes, but the deck won't turn on. Bloodvette prematurely proposes a toast, and we hammer the shot down.
Shot 15 - Glutamine is trying to theorize on the problem, but bloodvette is one step ahead. Bloodvette is under the dash pulling out the fuses one by one (but not replacing them :nono: ) and trying to find the bad fuse. Somehow, under the holy grace of god, bloodvette replaces the fuses.
Shot ?? - Well, the deck somehow turned on, and glutamine passed out in the garage. Bloodvette slept in his bed in the house.
Headaches ensued.
:party:
08-15-2003, 02:34 PM
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Re: How Many of You Are Arm Chair Mechanics - Sometimes? (Glutamine83)
ok so you guys installed a new radio in the vette (or trans-am) while drunk? how did you pull that off?
08-15-2003, 02:42 PM
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Re: How Many of You Are Arm Chair Mechanics - Sometimes? (THawkbh)
ok so you guys installed a new radio in the vette (or trans-am) while drunk? how did you pull that off?
all I know is that bloodvette threw on some Rob Zombie :nono: when the installation was complete