Good Corvette joke.
02-07-2002, 11:07 PM
#1
Drifting
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Good Corvette joke.
Before you read, it is not perfectly clean, but not raunchy. It's still pretty good though. Also must be mentioned it was told to me from a guy who has owned about a dozen Corvettes in his life, and obviously I am a Corvette owner. Hope it's not an old one
There is this mouse running through the jungle when he hears a faint cry in the distance. He follows it to the source, and there is this elephant sitting at the bottom of a deep hole. He leans over, tells the elephant not to panic, and asks if he can help. The elephant asks him to help him out of the hole since he can't do it himself. So the mouse tells him to wait just a minute. The mouse comes back shortly with his Corvette. He lowers arope to the elephant, tells him to tie it around his trunk. The elephant asks him what he is going to do, and the mouse tells him he is going to tie the rope to the frame of his Corvette, and pull the elephant out. The elephant tells him it won't work, and the mouse says, fine, stay in the hole. Well the elephant realizes his predicament and figures he will give it a try. The mouse fires up his Vette, and pulls him straight out of the hole. The elephant is both astonished, and very grateful. He tells the mouse that he will never forget his life saving good deed, and vows to pay him back. They part ways. A couple of months later, the elephant is wlaking through the same area of jungle where he was originally stuck. He hears this faint voice yelling for help. To his surprise, it leads him right to the same hole that he was stuck in, and the same mouse that rescued him is now in the hole. He sees the mouse run up the sides of the hole, but he always falls back before he can get to the top. The elephant calls to the mouse in the hole, and tells hime to relax. He reminds him that the mouse had once helped him in the same predicament, and he was going to repay his debt. He squats over the whole and lowers his johnson into the hole. The mouse is wondering what the heck is going on. The elephant tells him to grab onto his johnson and he will pull him out. The mouse is disgusted, but figures he has no other way out. Well the mouse grabs onto the elephant's johnson and the elephant does as promised and pulls him to safety. He is very grateful and they part ways. The moral of the story......."You don't need a Corvette if you have a big johnson."
Well I though it was pretty funny anyways. :jester
There is this mouse running through the jungle when he hears a faint cry in the distance. He follows it to the source, and there is this elephant sitting at the bottom of a deep hole. He leans over, tells the elephant not to panic, and asks if he can help. The elephant asks him to help him out of the hole since he can't do it himself. So the mouse tells him to wait just a minute. The mouse comes back shortly with his Corvette. He lowers arope to the elephant, tells him to tie it around his trunk. The elephant asks him what he is going to do, and the mouse tells him he is going to tie the rope to the frame of his Corvette, and pull the elephant out. The elephant tells him it won't work, and the mouse says, fine, stay in the hole. Well the elephant realizes his predicament and figures he will give it a try. The mouse fires up his Vette, and pulls him straight out of the hole. The elephant is both astonished, and very grateful. He tells the mouse that he will never forget his life saving good deed, and vows to pay him back. They part ways. A couple of months later, the elephant is wlaking through the same area of jungle where he was originally stuck. He hears this faint voice yelling for help. To his surprise, it leads him right to the same hole that he was stuck in, and the same mouse that rescued him is now in the hole. He sees the mouse run up the sides of the hole, but he always falls back before he can get to the top. The elephant calls to the mouse in the hole, and tells hime to relax. He reminds him that the mouse had once helped him in the same predicament, and he was going to repay his debt. He squats over the whole and lowers his johnson into the hole. The mouse is wondering what the heck is going on. The elephant tells him to grab onto his johnson and he will pull him out. The mouse is disgusted, but figures he has no other way out. Well the mouse grabs onto the elephant's johnson and the elephant does as promised and pulls him to safety. He is very grateful and they part ways. The moral of the story......."You don't need a Corvette if you have a big johnson."
Well I though it was pretty funny anyways. :jester
02-08-2002, 10:05 AM
#8
Race Director
Re: Good Corvette joke. (stickboy)
Nice. A little comic relief. Pretty good, I copied it and emailed it to everyone.
02-08-2002, 10:33 PM
#10
Racer
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Re: Good Corvette joke. (vethead)
:lol: That's an oldie but a goodie..... Has anyone seen this "film clip" of a similar nature? (.avi or .mov) I have it on my HD It's quite funny ... I wish I could grant you guys and ladies access to it...
02-08-2002, 10:40 PM
#11
Instructor
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Re: Good Corvette joke. (vethead)
When I heard it, it was a horse and a chick with a BMW.
And the moral was: " When you`re hung like a horse you don`t need a BMW
to pick up chicks "
And the moral was: " When you`re hung like a horse you don`t need a BMW
to pick up chicks "
02-08-2002, 10:48 PM
#12
Safety Car
Re: Good Corvette joke. (vethead)
I don't remember who the quote was by, but in the book "All Corvettes are Red".
Some of the designers were arguing about the size of the "Drivers Info Center"
One Designer / Engineer stood up and asked why they were discussing this. "After all", he says "When you have a Corvette you don't need a big DIC"!
:yesnod: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Some of the designers were arguing about the size of the "Drivers Info Center"
One Designer / Engineer stood up and asked why they were discussing this. "After all", he says "When you have a Corvette you don't need a big DIC"!
:yesnod: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:cheers:
02-09-2002, 11:11 AM
#14
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Re: Good Corvette joke. (vethead)
yeah, but you look good when you pick your date up, and she feels good when you drop her off when you drive a Corvette :D
02-11-2002, 11:44 AM
#15
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Re: Good Corvette joke. (vethead)
Had to add this one.
Drunk Driving in Newfoundland
This just might work.......... Only a Newfoundlander could think of
this.... From the Province where drunk driving is considered a sport,
comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a
George Street tavern. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the
bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
street for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what
seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to
find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number
of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car,
switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night) flicked the
blinkers on, then off, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He
moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained
still for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled
out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The
police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the
patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and
carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer
indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
Police station this Breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it,"
said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy
Drunk Driving in Newfoundland
This just might work.......... Only a Newfoundlander could think of
this.... From the Province where drunk driving is considered a sport,
comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a
George Street tavern. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the
bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
street for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what
seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to
find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number
of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car,
switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night) flicked the
blinkers on, then off, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He
moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained
still for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled
out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The
police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the
patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and
carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer
indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
Police station this Breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it,"
said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy
