corvette-pilot

I haven't been around here lately very much but I lost my dad Wednesday morning. He had trouble breathing and went to the ER Friday night right after my mom got out of rehab for her operation. She MADE him go. That hospital said he had an aneurism on his heart and sent him to Boston. They determined he had a heart attack. We visited him over the weekend and he looked sick but thought was getting better then we get the call at 10PM Thursday night to get to the hospital. We sat with him all night. He coded once and was brought back. Eventually the team of doctors came to us with the story of how sick he was. We had no idea the drugs were the only thing keeping him alive at the time. We reluctantly chose to let him go in comfort and dignity with us by his side. Once they stopped the meds he died within an hour

Been over my moms all weekend trying to sort out his life and hers. I feel like I am looking at a sleeping friends wallet. Seeing a snapshot of his life at the last moment he was home. Going thru his stuff. I think it is hard for y mom to see us throwing out stuff but they both were somewhat pack rats. Just getting rid of old magazines and stuff of no use trying to find his funds and figure out the bills..........

NONE of us thought he would be the first to go. We repeatedly tried to get him to tell us more about his situation before this happened but he was stubborn. The last time I spoke to him in the ICU he told me to go home he was fine 2 hrs before he died so he didn't know it was coming either?

Anyone have advice of what to look for, where, what to save, he has old bills and I save the last few months but boxed up even older ones just in case,

What sort of attorney and financial person should I contact to help sort thru all this?

Sorry for the rant, just overwhelmed since this is the first time in my life I have gone thru such an event.



So long dad we all love you and miss you !!
He is now back with his mom, dad and younger brother. The family is all back together again

DonOH

I am very sorry for your loss. Difficult to lose someone so suddenly. That is what happened to my mother. Asthma attack and 8 hours later, in the hospital, she was gone. A very surreal experience. No time to prepare yourself. You and your Mom have my deepest sympathies.

My father passed away 3 years ago today. His was a long time coming, 89 1/2, early Alzheimers, COPD so we had sorted through his files for years to be prepared.

Did he have a will? You should get a probate attorney and find out what has to be done in your state. Depends on his planning (ie, a trust and amount) how much has to be done and who ($) has to do it.

You'll need to prepare a list of assets in just his name vs joint accounts with your mother or accounts with TOD (transfer on death to her). Been three years for me and I have a little left to do (got lazy).

Also, today is my birthday. To let Dad "make it up to me" for passing away on my birthday, after I settled the estate, I bought my Corvette. He wasn't a car guy but I know it would have put a huge smile on his face to be able to say HE bought me a Corvette so that car became my way of remembering him.

TWINRAY

Senior parents in their "golden years" as my Dad use to say. Sorry for your loss.

ZR-71

Sorry for the sudden Los of your Dad
If your Dad did not have a will, I'd say all of his assets pass to his wife, your Mom by default.
But yeah cleaning up his residence is difficult, not only the work but some memories you may coma across

Lucky86

Im very,very sorry for your loss, but just know we will all be together again. He is in a better more peaceful place now, God Bless and stay strong for your mom.

MGP1

sorry for your loss....

robert miller

Sorry for your loss man. Robert

Mjolitor 68

My Mom passed in March so I know the road you are on.

PM me if you want to talk

Good luck

trewyn15

I am sorry about your loss. My prayers are with your family.

doorgunner

I just saw your thread........it's causing me to choke up as I read it.

My dad went to Heaven 10 years ago....he was NEVER sick.

He started having ?brain aneurisms?....every day.....


Here's one for you...... Your Dad

I've gotta go now.................

plasboy

My heart goes out to you. Lost my dad in 98 and mom in 99. They had a revocable living trust so everything was easy. All I had to do was mail copies of death certificate to companies they had stock in and credit card companies. Don't know what all you have to do with just a will.

It is hard to go through all the stuff. Don't try to sort everything at once just take care of the paperwork and sort stuff a little at a time.

Best wishes.

Joe

lion149

May God be with you during this difficult time!

jay007king

Sorry for your lost

gilhuly

I'm very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you in this time of grief.

Mattie Num Nums

Thoughts and prayers my friend. Letting someone go gracefully is the only way to do it. I applaud you on that tough decision.

suwanneepirate

Sorry for your loss,see an estate lawyer and have him set up a trust for you mother to avoid probate later on down the line to avoid the legal grief later on.My mother passed away on 9/11 of this year and she had all of her assets including her house in a trust and everything automatically transferred to the beneficiaries .I had to apply for a federal EIN number for her trust to report any interest received on her stocks and accounts after her death .The lawyer took care of all that for me.
The best thing for you to do is set up an appointment for you and your mother with an estate lawyer.The advice is well worth the price and can save you from making a mistake in handling everything.
I lost my dad in 1989 ,we were close and it happened nearly the same way you lost your dad.Be there for your mom and help her with the legal stuff and protect her from the vultures that come and try to take advantage of her .

1KUIK7

Lost my Pop in 99 still hurts like Hell we were close. God bless, move on he would have wanted it that way I'm sure. Always live in his memory.

petuniapilot

I'm a "corvette pilot" too, so your message really touches me. I'm so sorry for your loss. You asked for advice. I have a lot to give - I've basically been living in hell for about a year and a half now, first with the illness and then the Trust. The Trust does make everything a lot easier. But I think our situations are really different because your mom is there. I swear I've sent copies of those papers a thousand times. And that bit about going through his things; it's very weird. I'd weep about it, but then just get so busy it seemed routine, and that's even worse. The Green Car is an incredible legacy to link us together. I can't believe that car is in my garage. And I wouldn't be a pilot, either, if it weren't for my Father. Feel free to ask me questions, or "vent". My best to you and your family.
Kathy

WICKEDFRC

The loss of a loved one is never easy, and what assisted me overcome the loss of my Aunt 3 weeks ago, is what I recently read:

"Death is not the end of life, but the beginning of eternity."

May you find peace within the loss of your Dad and know your decision was a difficult yet brave one.

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Vetteman Jack

So very sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family.