A deputy police officer responded to a report of a bar room disturbance.
The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed
almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy
and Mohammed Ali too. Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an
escape artist - probably better than Houdini."
The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could
show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs.
Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"
Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.
"I can't get out of these," the giant growled. "Are you sure?" the deputy
asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."
Handcuffs, as you may or may not know, are more or less 'one size fits all'
because of their closure. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule.
One dark evening, I responded to a complaint of a bar fight. Upon arriving,
I saw a burly + 6' 3" lumberjack standing outside, bleeding from the mouth.
He was being tended by a sympathetic female and told me a guy at the bar
had punched him in the mouth in a dispute over the bar table. As soon as
backup arrived, I headed inside to see what kinda man was brave enough to
take a whack at the lumberjack.
As I got to the bar, the bouncers were ejecting a skinny whip of a young lad,
no more than 5' 6" and 140 lbs wearing his boots. I asked where the other half
of the fight was and they pointed to the kid, who was headed toward the door.
As soon as he stepped outside, he made a run for the lumberjack, yelling and
screaming bloody murder. Luckily, I was quick enough to grab the kid before
he got to the lumberjack and I hauled him to my police car. I give the kid points
for being ballsy but I didn't need to see more fighting.
Anyway, one of my coworkers was talking to the lumberjack (writing down name?)
when the lumberjack's dad came rumbling up. Dad was at least 6' 5" and about
280 lbs. He pushed my coworker to the ground and shouted to his son "Let's go!"
Now, his son wasn't really in trouble (and he knew it) but we Law Enforcement types
tend to frown upon people assaulting our fellow members. My prisoner was locked
in my car, so I headed over. My coworker was unhurt and got up. Dad was getting
ready to push him again but the son got in between and things rapidly degenerated
into a melee. I grabbed Dad out of the fray but I had a little problem.
If you've ever tried to handcuff someone (or been handcuffed, for that matter) you'll
know it's not quite as easy as it appears on TV. I'm pretty handy in a scrap and good
with my handcuffs, but none of that helped me because when I tried to handcuff Dad,
his wrists were too big for my handcuffs. So I had a very large, drunken man who was
very upset and no way to 'control' him. I ended up wrestling this guy into an arm-bar
and basically held on until more back-up arrived by which time, Dad had exhausted
himself (and me!) so the fight was basically over. He rode back to the cop shop in the
backseat without 'bracelets' but was too tired to care.
Nowadays, most police officers carry 'pepper spray' and collapsible batons. This incident
was in the early 90s before the RCMP starting using these kinds of 'non-lethal' weapons.
Perhaps a face full of pepperspray would have prevented the fight but who can second
guess these things? I'm just glad no-one got hurt.
What does this have to do with Corvettes? Well, now you see what I have to do to be able to
afford my toys! I hope you don't have to work as hard as I do!!
One of my best friends is in your business, still loves to tell the story of the guy who's back he was hanging on too trying to get the cuffs on when the guy jerked his rookie partner hit him with the pepper spray :D Not the criminal.
Re: first the joke and then the story (Tom McCabe)
Quote:
Mac,
One of my best friends is in your business, still loves to tell the story of the guy who's back he was hanging on too trying to get the cuffs on when the guy jerked his rookie partner hit him with the pepper spray :D Not the criminal.
Tom
'Friendly fire' incidents aren't all that uncommon with the 'non-lethal' alternatives. Part of our pepper spray training was being sprayed. Each of us were sprayed and then had to grapple with someone for 10 seconds before we could decontaminate our eyes. I don't know if they still continue to use this training practise but it certainly got the point across for me. You can't just lay down because you've been sprayed; you have to continue fighting. For the same reason, I've also been exposed to 'tear gas' both in recruit training and numerous times while I was on the tactical troop.
The advent of 'non-lethal' alternatives has made policing safer as most of our 'clients' aren't as likely to fight if they've been pepper sprayed or, in the extreme cases, 'tazered' which is extremely effective in most cases. Adversion training at it's finest.
Police work isn't all fast times, bullets flying, cars racing and fisticuffs. In fact, I'm more worried about car crashes and diseases than I am about being shot but this is Canajun Land. No matter how safely a police officer drives, there are others using the roadways. Since we often go 'code 3' (lights & sirens) to incidents, the level of danger rises exponentally the faster you go. Many of our clients have hep A, B and/or C as well as HIV and the danger of exposure is very real. Knowing this, some of our brazen robbers use a blood-loaded syringe as a weapon. How scary is that? :nonod:
What a whiner! "We had to go 10 seconds with pepper spray in our eyes! Wah, wah, wah!" :cry "The big mean bad guys might try to hurt me! Wah, wah, wah!" :cry :cry :cry
Well how about some empathy for ME for a change!?! I work as a music composer and just last Thursday, I get a call from a client saying he needed a song for a TV commercial by the next afternoon! That meant I had to get up early the next morning, and let me tell you, the temperature in L.A. can easily dip into the 50's when it's that early! I had to keep my jacket on for about half an hour before the studio heated up!!!
Then, the budget was low (typical!) so I had to play the guitar parts MYSELF! With a HANGNAIL!! And you think it's bad that criminals may have diseases? Well, I could swear the guy who delivered the Thai food for lunch had the sniffles! Whadaya wanna bet I wind up getting a cold?!? And then the singer shows up and she's NOT wearing one of those skimpy tops that I like. She's wearing a big SWEATER! My whole day RUINED!
So please, Mac, it's not all about YOU! It seems every other month, Vette and Corvette Fever run specials about "Heroes in Uniform." How long do I have to wait for the "Lazy Musicians" edition? I've subscribed for years and still haven't . . . oh, sorry, I have to go now. I hear the mailman and I'm expecting a royalty check.
I feel your pain, 58Mike. Or is it I wanna make you feel pain? :eek: I can never keep that straight. Thanks for the laugh! I enjoyed it almost as much as I enjoy looking at the pictures of your 58 over on C1/C2, Buffer Boy. When are you going to update your sig so I can enjoy it some more.
After all, it's all about me, really. :lol: :jester :lol:
I don't care how big or bad you are, and it doesn't matter if it takes 2 or maybe even 3 officers to subdue and arrest ya, the job will get done! :boxing
However, I am not talking from personal experience though!! :lol:
Police are usually at an advantage because we're sober and should not be emotionally involved in the situations we're called upon to police. Most times, where there's physical confrontations, there's either liquor, drugs and/or an emotionally charged situation.
Sometimes, it comes down being willing to jump in and getting dirty. That's why I worry about some of my fellow officers- and why I'm frequently called on for back-up.
Knowing this, some of our brazen robbers use a blood-loaded syringe as a weapon. How scary is that? :nonod:
That's why they don't let civilians carry handguns in Canada (with minor exceptions). If someone points a blood-loaded syringe at me, and I'm carrying a handgun, he's dead. I'll tell it to the jury. :smash:
Police work isn't all fast times, bullets flying, cars racing and fisticuffs.
In the nonfiction book 'The Untouchables' by Eliot Ness, he recalls the time when he and his 10 handpicked men were busy raiding Al Capone's brewries, with a half dozen cars and an armored truck for busting the doors through the warehouses. Most of the time there was a lot of "fireworks".
Then a Chicago politican who had a lot of clout, managed to pull some strings to get his jobless son assigned to Eliot's team, and he was really PO'ed that he now had some rookie with no law enforcement experience, who could jeopardize his operation.
So the first day on his job, Eliot hands the new guy a .38 and a badge and said they were busting a brewery that night. So at 3 AM, a half a dozen cars and the armored truck converge on the warehouse, and the truck busts through the doors and the Untouchables let loose in there with Thompson submachine guns blazing, while ducking for cover, under fire from Al's hoodlums. They had a successfull bust though.
The next day, the politician's son comes into work, and Eliot asks him how his first day on the job was. He handed Eliot back the .38 and his badge and said he didn't think this was the right job for him, it was too nerve wracking.
Eliot smiled at him and said....if you don't like excitment, you shouldn't be in this business! :lol:
That's why they don't let civilians carry handguns in Canada (with minor exceptions). If someone points a blood-loaded syringe at me, and I'm carrying a handgun, he's dead. I'll tell it to the jury. :smash:
Better to be judged by twelve than carried by six? I've never been confronted by a syringe wielding bandito but if I am, he gonna come down with terminal lead poisoning. I've dealt with a broken bottle, knives, a chunk of 2X4 and a shard of broken window but, through the grace of God, I've never been seriously hurt on the job.
One time, a guy handed me a loaded gun. I was checking him as he was asleep behind the wheel of his car, parked on the roadside. I knocked and he awoke and rolled down the window. I asked him for his ID and registration, which he passed over and then he handed me a revolver, saying "You'll want this too." I said "Thank you." and walked back to my car before my hands started shaking. Elliott Ness may have been right.
Corvette Store
first the joke and then the story
