Rapid Z

The saga is soon to be over and I have to admit im still a little nervous and afraid if I did the right thing buying this car or not. Yikes! Last Thursday a very close colleague and Union Brother of mine without any warning at all decided to blow his long time Girlfriend's head off and take his life as well. This has left me so traumatized NOTHING seems very important now including the Z06. To be honest I try to be happy about it but I don't know if I even want the car now. What's really important now?

Aku700

Truly insane, so sorry for your loss!!! If anything, it makes you appreciate the things you have, so yes, grieving, dismay, anger and all these emotions are totally normal and will last a while, but in time, as things heal, just remember, enjoy the life you have, it’s microscopic compared to time in the universe!!!! Hug your family members, cherish the time you spend with them, and ya, don’t let little things upset you too much, as you said, does it really matter? Now, this is your life, so enjoy the car when you are ready and I’m sure your friend would have been happy for you!!!

Shifterkartdrvr

So sorry to hear. I agree w/ the comments above. Great advice.

Skid Row Joe

The decision meant to bring satisfaction and joy to your life for some reason has brought uncertainty.
The news of this tragic event has rocked your psyche to the core. It will pass. Just give it time, and get your sleep.

Rapid Z

Indeed it has and I haven’t slept in three days.

23/C8Z

Some things in life are out of your control.

Do you focus on that? Or focus on what you do have control over. Being happy or sad you have control over.

Focus in what you have in life and not what you used to or wanted to.

Focus on the present not the past or the future. Live in the moment.

And remember all bad days come to an end and a new one is one sunrise away.

Tragedy is always there. How you react to it is what's important. You're a human being who's healthy and smart. Don't punish yourself.

Treat yourself like you would your best friend. We are too hard on ourselves sometimes. It sounds like this is one if those times. I've known plenty of people who have done this to themselves. The fact that he took someone else with him tells you that he was a murdering scumbag so why are you upset about enjoying the brief time you have on this planet? You need to see that and not the actions of that murderer.

If you can't shake that off put off the purchase for now and get some therapy.

Some of us are harder than others and some of us are more emotionally connected than others. I'm numb to death much less so terminal illness that keeps people hanging on by a thread and in pain. I get it.

Sorry for your situation brother.

Z0HS1CK

Jesus christ bro i'm sorry!

In the end you can't dwell on the things you couldn't control nor should you let this terrible tragedy dictate the rest of your life. I can't even imagine the trauma i would endure had i experience something like this with a close one but at the same time life moves on.

I think all things considered, you should be even more excited the z06 is coming because that should bring you happiness. Replaying a terrible scenario in your head over and over will only make you sick. Not only mentally but physically too.

Either way i would go through the purchase and worse case just put it aside until you're ready, then little by little get acquainted with the car and let the bad thoughts slowly drift away. While remembering your colleagues for all the good and try to forget about the horrors that concluded their life.

Gang Green

Not sure how spiritual you are but praying always somehow works for me - It may not happen right away, but the Lord has never failed me - ever!

Im very sorry for your loss - My deepest condolences. Follow your gut & heart about the your car decision.

RBK11

Be reminded - This (life) ain't no dress rehearsal. Live your life to the fullest.
If anything buy and enjoy more not less and most importantly understand "happiness comes from the people you care about and pleasure from things". You cannot ever make up for unhappiness chasing pleasure.

AVETTE

So sorry for what you are going through… as you can see from the comments above, we, your corvette brothers, all are here for you… It is possible your friend ‘snapped’ and made a decision he instantly regretted, so much so, that he immediately decided to take his own life… You mentioned he was a good friend and you are naturally trying to make sense of the unimaginable… It would be natural to be asking yourself ‘is there anything I could have done’ ‘how did I not see this coming’ etc… the sad reality is you never really know what may happen with anyone.

You should know this for sure, what happened with your friend is not your fault in any way, shape, or form… I agree with the above poster that said if you are spiritual in any way, praying can and does help. From the way you described him, your friend was a good guy that you can’t imagine having done this terrible thing, it’s very likely this was not a ‘planned’ thing. We all have difficulties and sadness to deal with in life, from a friend or family member with a terminal illness to an accident, to a random senseless act of violence..

As to the corvette, as long as it won’t be a financial burden for you, I would definitely keep it. Time heals all wounds. For those who work hard, try to do the right thing, and try to navigate this crazy thing called life, we all deserve a little joy in our life… Before all this happened, you had reasons for placing the order, focus on those reasons even if they don’t seem important in the moment, they will later, guaranteed… Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to afford a corvette of any kind. Think about, cherish, and enjoy, the people and things you are fortunate enough to have, it will get you through this difficult time…. It is ok and normal to go through a range of emotions regarding your friend from sadness that he is gone, to anger at what he did, to bewilderment on why?? None of us truly know what happened, and we feel for the families of both him and his girlfriend… I will keep you in my prayers during this difficult time…

acroy

Sorry brother. Bad things happen, even (especially) to good people. Have to process it and carry on.
This story is similar to the murder trial I was a juror for last year. Solid citizen, heavy equipment mechanic, salt of the earth, a guy you'd want to know and have on your side. Long-time solid girlfriend, no issues between them ever. One night she goes absolute psycho on him, raging screaming attacking. Completely out of character. He shot her. Turned out she had fent in her system, her drink @ the bar that night 'might' have been spiked; she was not a user. It was 'almost' a murder/suicide but he managed to not kill himself. I felt bad for him but we put him away.

The important thing now is to remember & respect the departed; at the same time do not let current life be governed by the past sad actions of others. Pray for them & carry on. Best of luck.

Luke42_02

Disclaimer: I am a family practice physician, but I don’t know you so don’t take anything I write here as medical advice. I just thought it might help if I shared what I have experienced.

I’m extremely sorry for your loss, nothing I can say will make that any better. I wish I could.

You know how all the depression medication commercials are always asking if you no longer enjoy things you used to enjoy?

That’s because you seem to be experiencing a textbook grief reaction. If you did not feel that way about the car, it would tell me that something was wrong with you or that you did not care very much about him. I tell patients that grief never will probably never stop making them feel that way, but eventually they will think of it less often. Going to thrash a new sports car always seems a little silly when pondering a deep issue like that.

We’ve all waited a long time for the car, the anticipation is no longer fun. However, I think when you finally get the car you will find that the long wait has made it more exciting to finally have in your possession. If not, you can sell it after 6 months and I don’t think there is any way you’ll lose more than $10k. A small price to pay to take a chance and find out if you enjoy owning one.

jackfrostpdx

It will be hard not to visualize your friend's actions every time you start up the Z06. Find something else.

AVETTE

[
QUOTE=jackfrostpdx;1607725091]It will be hard not to visualize your friend's actions every time you start up the Z06. Find something else.[/QUOTE]


Really??? You had to go there didn’t you? Every single post has stated the opposite, so you just had to go there… It wasn’t like the car was OWNED by his friend… just a coincidence that he is finally getting it after a long wait… NOTHING to do with that situation… Congrats, on a board filled with sometimes terrible posts, you just won “Garbage Post of The Year Award”… possibly the decade… geez…

To the OP PLEASE ignore his crap post…

MitchAlsup

What is really important now is knowing
a) its not in any way your fault
b) you could not do anything about it transpiring
c) your wound will heal
d) life will go on
e) and you have a great car on the way after your wound heals

z06inVB

You are likely dealing with post traumatic stress. I’m a paramedic and I’m not ashamed to admit I have been there and it can be overwhelming. Right now your priority needs to be you. I’m in our union and both our workplace and union offer counseling and EAP. Seek it out and take advantage of it.

As for the car again your first priority is you. If the car doesn’t make you feel positive where you are right now pass on it. There will be other cars.

I wish you the best.

BigButtLover

Your new car can be good therapy if you allow it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Some things are out of our control, but God is still in control. Enjoy your life.

Z0HS1CK

Agreed. When i lost my dad i thought life was over.

But you can't just live your life dwelling on the past. You can remember the people you loved always but you can't let it affect your life. You have to show strength.

Themack

+1

Hey brother, things happen in life that are completely out of our control and despite how close this person was to you the guilt is hard to shake sometimes..

In this moment this car is extravegance that is not necessarily needed and the guilt is making it a second thought and I completely understand.

Being grateful for just being alive and appreciating the small things in life instead of materialistic things and chasing money can make a drastic change in your life..

I would say keep the plan and enjoy the car if it is not a burden, but also make it available for others to enjoy the car with you. The joy of seeing other people enjoy my car with me is priceless and something i wished i have done earlier in my life.

If you also have time today by yourself to relax and not be bothered, I would recommend you watch this video by a man named Sadhguru, there's some great videos to put things in perspective

rackemup

It will soon be 4 yrs since a guy I had known for 30 years blew away his wife and then himself with a shotgun in their Upper St Clair home not far from you in the southern Pittsburgh subburbs. It still haunts me to this day, not nearly as bad as the first three months afterwards but it is there and still think of it a few times a month.
It has nothing to do with God or "everything that happens is God's will", BS. People just snap and do absolutely horrible things that ruin others lives. Don't let it ruin yours, move on my friend. Enjoy your car. Best to you.