cor28vettes

For the 'Stupidest' version of a long running one (23 pages, 443 posts & 27,750 views)
see http://forums.corvetteforum.com/show....php?t=1717972


It was finally retired today. RIP










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Silverbullet00

Tell them you are AND they are Nonmembers:



APPLICATION FOR NON-MEMBERSHIP
NON-CLUB CLUB


I, ____________________ SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO PAY NO DUES, NEVER TO VOTE ON ANY MATTER OR ACTIVITY, TO JUST SHOW UP WHENEVER MY PRESENCE IT NOT REQUIRED AT BUT IS ALLOWED, THAT I WILL NEVER COME TO ANY NON CLUB CLUB NON OFFICIAL ACTIVITY IN ANY CAR OR TRUCK THAT COULD BE DESIGNATED BY ANY OTHER NON CLUB CLUB NON MEMBER AS A "RICER". I FURTHER PLEDGE TO SCORN AND PHYSICALLY FIGHT IF DEEMED NECESSAY BY A NON VOTE OF THE MAJORITY OF NON MEMBERS ANY ATTEMPT BY ANY NON PREAPPROVED "UN" MEMBER TO NOT WANT TO BECOME A NON MEMBER IN THE NON CLUB CLUB WHO APPLYS FOR SAID NON MEMEBERSHIP IF SAID NON APPLICANT DOES NOT OWN AT LEAST ONE

CORVETTE


SO HELP ME, BOWLING GREEN




SIGNED___________________ DATE_______________



Please print, sign and date, then destroy in a manner that leaves no evidence whatsoever!







Then ask them to read these:






THE NON CLUB CLUB of OKLAHOMA OR ANYWHERE




THE NONRULES AND WHYLAWS

SECTION ONE – THE NONRULES



1. There are no Rules!
2. See nonrule number 1.


SECTION TWO – THE WHYLAWS

1. The Whylaws are not needed but since they are required for some unknown reason we have agreed to not have the following:
a. No one shall be excluded from nonmembership unless they don’t own a Corvette, know someone who does, never wants to own one, or thinks that Corvettes suck.
b. Dues will not be accepted at any time! If you feel the need to buy something, buy a beer, lunch, dinner or a very expensive mod for another nonmember.
c. Compliments on a nonmember’s Vette are encouraged but not required unless you are trying to trick another nonmember into complying with 1.b. above. Then it might be a good idea.
d. Trash talking on the Corvette Forum, in person, or on any other semi-acceptable form of communication is very much encouraged, but, not required.
e. Modding of any Corvette is permissible at any time for any reason even if no one understands or agrees with the mod in nonquestion.
f. No votes are considered binding for any reason whatsoever for whatever the vote was taken for because,,,,,no votes can be counted because no voting will be allowed or recognized. See Nonrule number 1.
g. Aspirin is the recommended, but non required drug to ingest before reading further.
h. Non Club Club of Oklahoma nonevents are non sanctioned by anybody, any Body unless the nonmembers nonagree that it is cool to show up or not.
i. A fully nonsanctioned Non Club Club of Oklahoma event is defined as anytime one or more nonmembers do anything while doing that function within 10,000 miles of their Corvette or if the nonmember thinks about their Corvette within three and one half weeks of performing the aforementioned thing they were doing.
j. Any nonmember can be identified as driving or parking any Vette as either really clean or really filthy or anywhere in between at anytime unless it is real dark. Then, and only then, unless nobody cares or notices, can such identification and description be a matter of discussion or not.
k. Photographic evidence of Mods are encouraged but not required unless a nonmember throws the smiley face with the BS flag, either in person or on the Corvette Forum or other acceptable communication forum. In case of the noncompliance with this whylaw, nothing will be done, maybe.
l. Street Racing is Officially discouraged and will not be tolerated,,,,but will be graded.
m. At NO Time shall any nonmember not belong to the Non Club Club of Oklahoma unless at that time the nonmember secretly needs to not belong in order to save his or her life, or, get laid.
n. Ricer owners SUCK! Mostly.
o. Nonsanctioned Nonevents don’t count unless any nonmember wants them to, or not.
p. Never, and WE mean NEVER does any nonmember EVER,,,,,,, NEVERMIND!
q. Damn, we are only on q. Well we don’t like q. Or do we?
r. All attempts to increase RWHP or RWTQ are encouraged. But non required,,,,yeah right.
s. Pictures of Non Club Club of Oklahoma NonEvents are Nonsanctioned and cannot be sold, reproduced, copied, edited or given away without the expressed written consent of the pictured nonmember’s car or nonmember. Or not.
t. Really BAD pics can cause death or bodily harm to be inflicted on the photographer by a nonvote of the entire nonmembership.
u. Really tacky, drunken, sober, ugly or any where in between behavior will be noticed.
v. All nonmembers are nonrequired to have on their person or in their console enough quarters to wash their Vette just in case it needs it! Or not.
w. Nonmembers can never renounce their nonmembership unless they don’t have a Vette anymore, pledge to never own a Vette ever again, buy a RICER or decide to purchase a Ugo. In which case a special Non Club Club of Oklahoma nonmeeting will not be called to not decide whether or not the nonmember should lose his or her nonmembership status.
x. In no way should nonmembership in the Non Club Club of Oklahoma be considered as an accomplishment of any kind.
y. In no way should nonmembership in the Non Club Club of Oklahoma be considered as anything to be ashamed of. Unless, (see m. above) then it’s cool, or maybe just excusable.
z. Finally. See Below*

• Nothing on the previous pages means anything at all,,,,,,,,,,unless you want it to, and in that case don’t tell anyone because they won’t or shouldn’t care.







That should break the ice!!!!!!!!!

Dream C5

Is that a SS or V6

tslick98

That's a good'n.

david1st

I have people ask if I'm having "mid-life crisis"............. I say NOPE!! I just like the best performance, best handling, most fun car to drive.......CORVETTE!!! Best bang for the $$

herZ06

OMG. This must be why the people at auto parts stores treat me like I'm the biggest moron on the face of the planet.

I haven't had any real dumb questions yet... but the best one I get is people looking at the speedometer to judge how fast the car is. "this thing must be fast if it'll go 200!" Really? since when did we judge how fast a car is by the highest number on the speedometer?

Col. Newman

Well it does give you a ruff idea if it's stock. Generally speedometer's go 20 to 30 over what it tops out at. but it sure won't do 200 stock.

Ace14

I get what year is it and is it a Z06 at least once a week. (97 Coupe) Also another one I seem to get alot is that when I say I payed 13k for it people are like yeah but its worth at least 25k hahaha. The best one was at an audio shop, I was looking to change the remote batteries and the one guy overheard me say I had a vette and wanted to see it. He had a C4 and we went on Bsing for a little. Then he asked how much I payed and I told him 13k, he then told me that my car was worth at least 20 because his was worth 20 and he wouldnt sell it for less. (stock 94 with 50k) People dont realize how cheap/ easy to own these cars are.

ROJO99

Where is the back seat?

Col. Newman

that's what my mom said when she first looked inside my vette

Cheech Wizard

Didn't most of us do that when we were kids and didn't know better?

His93C4

Not really a question, but a guy that I worked with bought a 93 Miata and said "If we get into the twisties I (Miata) would get there faster because I corner better". I have a 03 Z06. I just laughed.

glorysends

At a local car show one time, a kid came up to me while I had my hatch popped and asked.....

''Why is your engine so small??!''

striper

I've often got "it's a nice day, you should take the top off." I own a Z06. "But it looks like your top comes off."

The coolest thing was once when I was in the Blue Ridge mountain area of North Carolina and needed gas. I pulled into a station in a very small rural town. After filling up I went into the office to pay. The woman working there had her son there who was probably in the 9-10 year old range. He questions me "hey mister, is that your car out at the pump?" I answered yes and he says "nice Z06!" Totally blew me away. His mother then says "He knows his Vettes."

Moman1290

My daughter and I were eating lunch in a small cafe' in the town we live in, when the waitress went over to a couple sitting in the window booth. They were in their 60's and she told them that she loved their shiny new red Corvette, which was parked in front of the Cafe'. The man looked up at her and said,"I wish it was mine". The waitress turned around and loudly asked everybody in the place who's Corvette it was? I, the young 45 year old raised my hand and said it was mine. She said that it was the nicest new Corvette she has ever seen. I thanked her and told her it was a '98!

SCM_Crash

I constantly get the "Is it new?" question. However, I don't find that to be a stupid question. After all, I don't know the years and models of LOTS of cars out there. I'd have no idea if I was looking at a brand new Bentley or a hot off the lot Mercedes.

But I often get a stupid question that follows information I give out. I'll say "It get's about 30MPG on the freeway." And they'll follow that up with some dumb speculation and an equally stupid question like "There's no way. That thing is definitely a gas guzzler. How can a V(insert random number that is not 8) get that kind of mileage."

Then I explain that the engine has enough power to push the car with extremely tall gearing so that at high speed, the engine is at lower RPMs. The car is also very aerodynamic and light and the motor doesn't have to work that hard to push it. At that point they ask another stupid question like "Why aren't all cars geared like that then?"

It's like a never ending cycle of stupid questions. I'm starting to learn not to offer information anymore.

SCM_Crash

Winner. That is likely the stupidest car question I've ever heard. I would have told them they have no business being at a car show.

glorysends

hahaha!! Yeah, it's amazing the people out there!

yyzmsp

A couple years ago I was at a car show in downtown Sioux Falls IA. I have a vert and have 3 small bottles of Nitrous in the area where the rear disc changer is located. Three local Police officers stated looking at my car and I was slightly concerned, not knowing the local laws regarding Nitrous. One of the officers approached me and asked " Is that stock?" to which I replied "Yes" and off they went more than happy and I breathed a sigh of relief.

redazz

i got that just the other day from a kid in a mustang