LAvetteman

:lol: :iagree:

Pedro'74

Besides, the "OT" in the topic title clearly states that this is an off topic thread. If you don't want to read something OT, then you can choose not to open the thread.

:cheers:
-Pedro

Lee74C3

I guess we can agree to disagree on this. If I had this problem I sure would not want to discuss it here with a bunch of wannabe attorneys and psychologists. This guy needs professional help.

Get a life...

moosie982

Lee74c3,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,PMS?? you should lighten up

stpman

:iagree:

C3 - 81

I no how u feel but play it cool and let her do all the abusing. I'm in the same situation at the moment but in a social seen, where this lady keeps abusing my wife and trys to stop other kids talking/playing with my 11 yo daughter. I keep my mouth shut and hope things will calm down. When every thing is sweet, F*** me dead they will wish they had never met me.

GDaina

Yo, Lee, son, chill, pop some :lurk: , grab a brewsky, read some threads for a week, get the lay of the land before you bust a vein. We're one big happy family, and yes, we do turn into Dear Abby, wanna be Attorneys and Psychologists when the need arrises to counsel one of our brethren. If you stick around long enough, get into the flow of things, you will ssek our advice as well. If this this doesn't sound like your cup of tea, then all I can say is "Adios Amigo."


[Modified by GDaina, 12:26 AM 11/1/2003]

soundguy

I fail to see what's so attractive about holding on to a job with this much 'baggage' attached to it. Life is too short.

Here's an excellent exit strategy:
http://www.evdokimenko.net/Fun/2003-01/030926.htm

Jvette73

An alternative to taping would be to log written text onto a note pad asap after the fact. IE: I entered the room and said,"........." she responded with,"...." Date it and list any whitness that may have also heard. What happens is fresh in your mind then. And should you need to report rightaway, or hold info leading to a future case, you'll have all the notes. Its not easy to go just on memory for things that happen in the past. And you need to be accurate. Logging your own text is definatly not ileagal, and will help you as far as your mind is concerned, in presenting your story with confidence, knowing that its accurate and true, no matter how long after the fact you need to.

64nova

If I was you I would contact a lawyer. You have a good case. Your employers have to provide you with a non-hostle work place. If they do not take measures to straighten this mess out, then they are failing in there obligations and could be subject to litigation themselves. Your problem is more than just the girl!!!!! If management is not willing to remedy your grievence then chances are they are not willing to remedy any ones grievence.

79MakoL82

As far as recording, legal or illegal I don't think makes a difference. They're not going to put you in jail for doing it. It's only whether it's admissable as evidence or not. You can still record it as peace of mind. I would think that whether a court allows it as evidence or not would be the only real issue.

Best thing is, keep your cool, don't say or do anything you'd regret, and keep e-mailing your Supervisor. That's your evidence that you have reported the problem.

rob75383

Sorry for the delay... but here's an update.

My boss had spoken to his boss, the VP, and was told that the VP was going to talk to her, and then, me.
A week later, the VP finally had the time to speak to me.
Judging from the tone of our talk, I see now that this man will not help me.
It was discouraging to speak to him. He claims to be impartial, but he was using indirect threats such as, " ... H.R. is likely to just terminate the both of you if it gets to that point..."
I bit my tongue, and held back many comments I had prepared.
My boss told me that his gut feling was that the VP favored her side, and now, I agree with him.
The VP said that it was between her and I to work this out. That is when I stepped in and voiced my protest. We had already established that we have a problem communicating, and I expected a moderator, so to speak, to be present when we got together.
I suggested that I use one of my peers, or my boss as this moderator, and the VP gave in and said that he should be the one present during our meeting.
The bastard should've done that without my prodding.
Two weeks ago, when I was to be one-on-one with her on Saturday, I brought the security guard in, under the pretense of showing him a humorous email, so that I would not be alone with her. That went smoothly.

This past Saturday, I tried a differant strategy.
I finally realized that I should try something like which was mentioned here.
I came to work, and put on a fake smile, and tried to be nice to her.
I came in and greeted her, and then asked if I could talk to her for a minute.
She said ,"Not without the VP or some other witness with us."
"Okay, I understand" I said, " but I thought that we could try to work out something."
When she finished giving me turnover, I said thank you as nice as I could manage, and then warned her about ice on the overpasses and bridges.
That little exchange was difficult, but it was of a differant caliber than the angry glares and foul words.
She left, and I went to the other room where I happened to find a journal notebook. I opened the cover and saw her name on it. I then closed it and took it with me as I began to walk to the door.
Lo, and behold, she comes back in, and I hand her the book, to which she gave me the most gracious and pleasant ,"thank you very much".

Later on, I found out that this pro-boxer chick that works with us has gone to the same VP with complaints about this same woman.

My current course is to 'keep my enemies closer', and see if this boxer will take this to a higher level. In that case, I will stand behind the boxer, as will several others. In the meantime, I only deal with the sour apple for 5 minutes every 2 weeks- I can handle a little false comraderie and fake sentiments.
It seems that now the tables are turned, I imagine that this woman is now worried that something will be fabricated against her. The boxer told me that whenever the two woman are in the same room, the girl I have problems with shakes uncontrollably due to anger or nerves or something.
Or maybe its just insanity.
I guess I wussed out by not going to HR, but when I had that talk with my VP, I kinda feel that if I do go, he will be against me. Plus, I feel that if I make him look bad, that it will come back to haunt me later on in my career with this company.
With the job market the way it is, and my girlfriend's unemployment running out in the next two weeks, I don't have the luxory of losing my job over some principles or just plain pride.

RJR99SS

hmm.....i see a problem that could drive this lady nuts. What if this boxer girl goes through with it all, and you back her. She might think "wtf...i thought i was finally cool with this guy, now its time for some serious pain!"

Personally...i'd make it pretty clear that its still on with her. But...whatever, i see you got your little problems that dont allow that. Funny how life turns out huh? Such hassle...just so you can eat...

DMONSVETTE

I told you........just keep playing it cool and everything will work it's self out.

Remember 'Every dog has his/her day'.

:yesnod: :thumbs:

rob75383

Well, to me, it IS still on with her...
I will keep quiet for now, and let it blow over. In no certain terms will I accept her B.S. , which now, temporarily at least, has ceased.

Truth be told, I have nothing to gain from getting her fired, except the prize of her absence. But then again, her absence would be celebrated by many... but I'm not willing to lead the 'call to arms' and declare war.
There still is a possibility that I will have war declared upon me, too.

GDaina

know what they say don't you? Discretion is the better part of valour.