Joemac8

Joemac8

Absolutely amazing and deeply moving story of an Aussie woman's bravery with a tiny .22 calibre pistol.

Those caliber shots are like a mosquito bite to a big croc.

A Darwin woman, Beverly Thompson, 38, has stopped a crocodile attack using a small .22 calibre Ruger pistol. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with that small pistol against a fierce predator.

Here's her story in her own words:

"While walking along the edge of a lake near my house in the Zuccoli Village Estate near Darwin discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 3.5metre crocodile which suddenly emerged from the murky water. It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Ruger .22 calibre pistol with me, I wouldn't be here today!" said Beverly.

“Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The croc got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible - and his life insurance was also a big bonus!.”

Roger Walling

Roger Walling

Roger Walling

Barry's70LT1

vetteman64

rnixon

Roger Walling

“My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”

“Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”



“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.”



“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”

. “Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”

“Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”

“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”



“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”

“What they could do to make it easier is combine the two, real estate and obituaries: Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.”

“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your wallet.” ( This one is my favorite! and the most truthful !)


One more!

The worst part of a very cold day, is drinking a 1/2 can of cold coke in order to make room for the rum.
(Don't ask me how I just thought that one up!)

GEM '62

A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

63 340HP

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The FBI was taping all conversations at the hospital, and this conversation took place when the agent in charge called a nearby pizza delivery service to order.

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so. Click.











A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, you should satisfy his every whim sexually several times a week."

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.











Men Can Never Win......


If you work too hard, you're not spending enough time with her. If you don't work hard enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you re insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you re not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you re not ambitious.

LouieM

JasonAndrew

roadster65

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside
And asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
"Yes, coach", replied the little boy. "
Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue,
curse the umpire, or call him an *******. Do you understand all that?"
Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative.
The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play,
it's not a dumb-*** decision or that the coach is a ******** is it?"
"No, coach."
"Good", said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”

Patrick03

Joemac8

Roger Walling

A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from China are all on a hot air balloon ride

The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from China spoke. He said "we're in The United States, I can see all the secret military sites

Joemac8