achapman

Man, I go away on vacation for a few weeks.... come back and this forum is as dry as Melba toast.... :lol: Time to lighten up a little... so for your reading pleasure here we go..... :jester

How to become an Executive Consultant

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air and blasts it with the shotgun, then walks out.

Four days later the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto, we're still cleaning up from the last time you were in here. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian says, "Me in training for Executive Consultant job. Drink coffee, shoot the poopie, and disappear for a few days."


So guess what I do for a living..... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hey, it keeps me in this hobby.... :jester

Cmacsvette

Hey Andy! :lol: :lol:

:cheers:
BTW, in regards to your quote "so sue me",.................................h ow much ya got? :rolleyes: :D


[Modified by Cmacsvette, 2:19 AM 11/5/2002]

4_inch_Bore

The Indian says, "Me in training for Executive Consultant job. Drink coffee, shoot
the poopie, and disappear for a few days."
So guess what I do for a living.....

Sounds like my job (international water resources economist), which I sometimes describe as...
I travel the world giving out advice that nobody wants to hear, and I charge a lot of money for it. :jester

Viet Nam Vett

:sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep:

67's

Hey Andy I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this Joke was in the FCR section with the Indian as an engineer last week.

Tom

achapman

OK Tom find this one in the FCR,

Chemical Analysis of a Woman

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs, but known to vary from 85 to 550 lbs.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given correct treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has a great affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no apparent reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by
saturation in alcohol.
5. Most money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in Corvettes.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one.
3. Extremely volatile when disposing of, regardless of level of caution and care exercised.

CONCLUSION:
While this element is highly unpredictable in its behavior, there is no other known element in the universe to replace it. Despite the hazards listed above, it is highly sought after and irreplaceable. Without it, the element known as MAN would cease to exist in its present state. In fact, it would cease to exist altogether. So it is an element to be treasured and safeguarded by all who are lucky enough to have it.

67's

Much better :D

Tom